Never Never

I’m too much,
like a box full of old memories
you cannot move
without getting someone to help you.
I’m the music way too loud
out of a speeding car that’s passing
through for one day and it’s ruined
for that moment I am there.
I am the rain that falls
at the worst times and my minimum
has always been a storm you can’t
get out of if you tried to.
I am that person in the audience
that laughs too loud at everything
and doesn’t see the people scoff
around me.
There are times when I can hold it back
and sit quietly not bothering the rest of you,
but if I’m not focused on containing it
then there is nothing in the way
of all the things I say that piss off
almost everything.
So I am quiet now like trees are
in their growth and search
for anything that’s sunny
and I don’t mind all the birds
that use my branches just as somewhere
they can stand.
I think I understand the way I am
like some ashes in a metal can
when I open up you wish
that I had never.