Condition

Autumn highway temperature against my bare feet
as I wait there in the dark without the headlights
or the radio or anything. My shoes are on the dash
collecting moonlight in their laces, and my glasses
hang by their frames from the centralized mirror.
I don’t know what I’m doing here calling you to get me
because the engine hasn’t held on like it used to.
Other state registrations pass me without looking
but for an instant my appearance is a doppelganger
standing in their window.
The guardrail is loose when I try to lean against it
and look up at all that passes overhead.

I am falling from the cliff the road was wrapped around
and the air is loud around my over opened ears
so overwhelmed with sound, and in that moment
it is clear to me that everything was building up
to this and all the rocks I see as blurs but upside down
are what I always let go by while was waiting.
There is no overstating how far a fall can feel
if you aren’t ready for it, but if you just enjoy it
as a ride you will at least have a goodbye
that doesn’t terrify the people in the stands.
I am in no position to make demands of fate,
but I would never run away again if it was clear
out in the morning and I some how got the chance
to finally see it.